So I’m at the gym and it’s time to renew my membership. I head over to the corral where they keep the sales people and there are about six of them lined up, trapped behind metal desks – posed in the various stages of boredom that accompany a rainy afternoon with no ringing phones. I think one was asleep, one was texting, and another one was chatting on Facebook about how Charlie Sheen got a bad rap.
So I’m looking at all six of them trying to figure out which one to pick. With not a customer between them, it was hard to know where to go first. If I went for the white one, someone would accuse me of being racist. If I went for the man, the woman would say I betrayed my gender. If I didn’t choose the one sleeping I had a problem with narcoleptics. Yes, another one of the stereotypical confusing moments that accompany much of my decision making process.
Finally I cracked under the pressure of all of them staring at me like I had wandered into an AA meeting and asked for a beer, and simply stood there stupidly (a pose I have mastered) and said, “Which one of you do I pick?” I didn’t consider that all of them might raise their hands and I would be back at square one again. But that didn’t happen.
Luckily the decision was made for me, when the one in the middle said without hesitation, “Pick me.” And so I picked him. Notice I said “without hesitation.” While the others looked at me like they were scared I was going to give them an enema, this one did not hesitate. He jumped on the opportunity. “Pick me,” he said with all the confidence in the world. I renewed my membership, bought three t-shirts and a tote bag, and am considering making him my personal trainer as long as he doesn’t make me lift anything heavy – or run – or sweat – or climb. All because he asked for the business. Well, it didn’t hurt that he was cute and had a rock hard bottom. Then again – they all did. So it still proves my point. Ask for what you want and don’t hesitate. Many of us lose in that second of hesitation.
I don’t know about you, but somewhere along the way many of us (especially women) came to believe that it was rude to ask for stuff. Maybe because we grew up with parents who told us to sit, be quiet, and don’t ask for anything unless it’s an emergency – and where my father set the bar on emergency was pretty high. Many of us don’t want to ask for what we want. And we let the sale go to someone else who does. Someone with more courage. Someone who does not hesitate. Someone who asks.
I’m amazed at how many people tell me about a problem they’ve been struggling with for years – and yet never once did they ask for it to be solved. So think about it. Is there something in your life you want? A new customer? A job? Forgiveness? To tell Susie to stop posting pictures of her cellulite removal treatments? The money you loaned Uncle Frank to start his Chia Pets for Jesus ministry? Then ask for it. Most of what we don’t get in life, we don’t get because we never asked for it. Be the one who says “Pick me!”
Now go out there and ask for what you want. You just might get it!
Kelly Swanson is an award-winning storyteller, comedian, motivational speaker, and author of "Who Hijacked My Fairy Tale? How to hang on to humor when life doesn't go the way you planned." She uses hilarious comedy and powerful stories to make people laugh, refuel their passion for who they are and what they do, show them how to see beyond their obstacles, and teach them how to stand up and stick out in life and in business.
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